HappyRelationshipBeing single works great for many people, but for many, finding a great romantic relationship seems like the most important thing for their happiness. Discontent is often the driving force behind the search for the right partner. It can be a healthy discontent, without compulsive feelings.

While there is often incredible joy in finding the right person and discovering that the attraction is mutual, the illusion (and the trap) is in believing that the OTHER person is the SOURCE of that joy. We disempower ourselves when we make ourselves emotionally dependent on the affection (or approval) of another person. That can be a hard lesson to learn, and is often the reason that relationships do not work out. There are people who expect their partners to make them happy, and are disappointed. They remain unhappy or even depressed and then blame the other.

Looking for a partner to make you feel complete or to solve loneliness, sets you up for a co-dependent (and maybe disappointing) relationship. The truth is that we are ALREADY complete as we are. There are many tools available to bring about that realization.

Some people DO confuse possession with love! Love is not something you fall "INTO". It is something you DO or FEEL. In a healthy relationship, the partners do not OWN each other. The romantic relationship is like the icing on the cake. It can bring enormous joy, without emotional dependence.

The next question is HOW do you find that "right" person? Some people say that the best way is to meet them through some activity involving a shared interest or purpose. That way has proven effective in many cases.

But what if the best match is someone you would NEVER meet in the course of your normal activities? Many couples have found each other through the internet!  People mixing in different social circles, or living far away from each other have found wonderful connections.

Of course there are dangers in internet dating, but many services provide ways to avoid those dangers. Aways meet in a public place, and let a friend know where you are going. There are websites that can provide you with a thorough background check on someone before you decide to get involved. It is pretty safe if you stay alert and use intuition.

I wish you success.